Friday, August 23, 2013

Child Protection Versus Domestic Violence

Examining a system that is identical to domestic violence

Lets take a look.

 Keep in mind prior to meeting this mother and reading about GH and AB's experience inside this system I did hold a different opinion of what child protection workers were and what I thought their job was about. Not until I started doing more research did I find that this job is commonly performed by abusive people like Sally Schroer who are very discriminatory in their action against people.

I also know that not all child protection workers are abusive like Sally Schroer. They do not use their job to decide who can be a parent and who cannot. They actually genuinely want to have the parent reunited with the children.

Prev ChapPrev PageNext PagePrev Chap
Emotional Blackmail
Emotional Blackmail - A system of threats and punishments used in an attempt to control someone’s behaviors.

Misusing the Keys to Our Hearts

In a nutshell, emotional blackmail is a psychological-emotional ransom note that says, “if you don’t do what I want then I will make you hurt”.
In order for emotional blackmail to occur there must be four things present - a demand, a threat, a blackmailer and a victim.

The Demand – Emotional blackmailers demand something the victim does not want to give, in an attempt to gain the upper hand where there are conflicting interests or wants. 
In general the blackmailer is usually asking for something which the victim regards as unreasonable and which the blackmailer believes they can get – if they apply enough pressure. HER CHILDREN

 For this reason emotional blackmail patterns are often cyclical - with both the blackmailer and the victim learning over time what level of demand will be tolerated without retribution and what degree of blackmail it takes for the victim to comply.

The Threat - The blackmailer may threaten to hurt the victim directly, or more commonly threaten to hurt something or someone the victim cares about. This could take the form of damaging or destroying their reputation, an object, an agreement, A RELATIONSHIP (WITH HER CHILDREN) or a trust. Blackmailers may also threaten to hurt themselves to pressure a victim into compliance.

The Blackmailer (Case worker Sally Schroer)- Although an emotional blackmailer is fighting for control over their victim, they often have little control over themselves. They may feel desperate inside and justify their actions as a means to an end of soothing their own desperate internal pain. In some cases, an emotional blackmailer may not always realize the extent of the hurt they are inflicting on their victim (and ultimately on themselves). They may not be able or willing to “snap out of it” and change their behavior.

The Victim - In order for emotional blackmail to work there has to be a willing victim - a person who is willing to sacrifice their principles, values, goals and boundaries to “keep the peace”, “turn the other cheek” and give in to the demands. Victims are often bridge builders - people who have compassion or pity on the blackmailer and are willing to go the extra mile for them. Victims may have low self-esteem of their own and be generally afraid to stand up for their own ideas and principles. They are caught in a vicious cycle as each time they yield something important to the abuser they suffer a loss of their own self-esteem and begin to feel more powerless, hopeless and trapped in their situation.

Behavior is common in Related Personality Disorders:

The mother has been diagnosed with Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) also known as "multiple interrelated post traumatic stress disorder" or Developmental Trauma Disorder [1] is a psychological injury that results from protracted exposure to prolonged social and/or interpersonal trauma in the context of either captivity or entrapment (a situation lacking a viable escape route for the victim), which results in the lack or loss of control, helplessness, and deformations of identity and sense of self. ]

A Developmental Approach to Understanding Complex PTSD